Learning to Recover... Part 1

"While I was 18, I was playing street-soccer after orientation. Though I don't kick well, I was pretty fast and had the endurance to last through a long game. However, I had a problem, I don't recover fast enough to keep up with my opponents. Soon, my opponents took that opportunity to play rough, and needless to say, I was on the losing side of the battle. My team was generally weaker than our opponent, and having me around really doesn't help..."

I learned the art of recovery recently while feeling down and discouraged about life. I am not a master of it, nor someone who is able to teach others, how to recover. However, I do want to share a story on how I started on my journey of recovery, one step at a time, with God holding onto my hand...

Having been a disciple of about 9 years, I realized that I have never been burnt-out. I mean discouraged about some things in life, yes, but never really emptied. It was only recently that I felt so alone and in need of encouragement, support and love from my church that I finally understood what it meant to have real, deep and a fellowship I can never buy with any amount of money in this world.

I just ended a 3-day birthday celebration, or should I say, transformation. I started out feeling 'cranky', un-loved, tired, and taken-advantage of. I started hesitating in serving at my church conference, selfishly thinking "why should I be giving my special-day in the year...for 'work' at church!!!" Little did I realize the very birthday present God has given me was THE CONFERENCE.

Focusing on Jacob's life, and how he was bruised, and acknowledged he was Jacob (the deceiver), the Angel of the Lord gave him a new name... "Your name shall now be called Israel!" - Gen 32:28
I learnt today that whatever discouragement/tiredness and any weaknesses I faced this season, was all due to the fact that God is preparing me for something greater in the coming year. One which requires me to be bruised, acknowledge that I need help, I need to be humble and I need friends. Especially my brothers and sisters in church.

In my road to recovery, I had to realize that I was no longer in control, and I am tired. I tried to do things my own way to build my faith up, but I was wrong. I wished I knew better to rely on God alone, than to try. I believe God doesn't want me to go through that pain, but He knows I need it for me to acknowledge that I REALLY needed Him.

I also know that gratitude was the key, but I didn't know where to start, or how to feel grateful.

God unlocked my understanding on how Satan tried to take my faith piece-by-piece. Starting with guilt-trips all the way back to 2002/2003.

I know I needed reconciliation with my best friend, and I realized my friendship with him has got to turn for the better. Starting from today!

I learnt that the road to recovery will not simply take these 3 days, but probably longer. Nevertheless, I realized and learnt one statement which I will try to remember for the rest of my life...

"I am not prepared, but I am ready for the journey.."

======== to be continued to part 2 ===========

Powered by ScribeFire.

Learning 'not to know...' or is it 'act-blurr'?

The Art of living longer... Is it simply just to act-blurr and choose not to know?
Why do we strive to know more, get higher education, learn more skills for? Simply to get a job or is there a higher calling to why is there a need to acquire greater wisdom and knowledge...

Something to think about:
Do you pay someone who is certified more versus one who isn't but is more passionate than the one who is certified...? and Why?

Powered by ScribeFire.

Lesson on Management Vs Leadership

I like what My Boss taught me on the difference between management and leadership and its difference. I always thought that in an ideal world where everyone is a good leader, no management will be required.

"Management is like a conductor orchestrating music with his group of musicians. The conductor is a good manager, whereas a good leader is one musician who is good with his instrument and music. You can have many maestros in the orchestra, but you'll need a manager to pull it off together to make a fantastic show."

Well I realized that even in an ideal world, some management is required. Of-course since a good leader is naturally a good follower, it'll be much easier to lead and manage such a group. Less management headaches that involves people to people issues.

Powered by ScribeFire.

Learning about how to be a good person

"No good man ever lived long, and no good man ever lived a good life."
- By all the bad man in the world.. :)

Do we all agree with this statement?

I had a hang-out session with my group of friends and they were all chatting about how they were mistreated at work by nasty colleagues and whenever they try to do something good, something bad always try to get in the way to affect them. Is that something similar in your life?

So the question is, will you stay 'good' or be 'bad' so that you won't be taken advantage of...

I reckon that we live in a cruel world. In this world, we learn to live life the hard-way. We have to work hard to earn money, and in doing so, every meal we have on our table is hard-earned. Does it pay well then to be a good man?

I am not trying to be negative, however, it is a real question to all of us who desires to do what is good and yet find it so difficult to live a life like one.

Even Jesus had to go to the cross and die for our sin as a sin-less man....

Lessons I learnt about responsibilities

My friend asked me if he gets himself engrossed over computer games in life, what will be the cause of it?

Now I thought that is a very interesting question.. Considering that people who dwell themselves in computer games are often living in delusion.

I wondered for a while, told him the most honest answer I learnt in the day.. "I don't know," and he smiled.

Gave some thought to it, and I realized that perhaps my friend did not have much to think about. Responsibilities usually occupy one's mind.

Come to think of it, why do we play lots of games only when we were younger and not when we get older? And why does life only gets more tough and busy? Life was always more care-free before!

People says it comes with age. I realized it is the responsibilities in life that crowds our lives. And like it or not, it will only get heavier. I guess that is why God invented a life partner, to help carry each-others' load/responsibilities in life.

I believe I have much to learn about this lesson. More to come!

Powered by ScribeFire.

Learning to Live Life Well

I saw the movie 7 Pounds yesterday night and I never once wept that badly after a show. The movie not only touched my heart, but it also taught me how important is it to:

1) Be a good person, even when no one is looking
2) Treasure life and every moment of it
3) Taking care of my own body
4) Living life with a sense of purpose, for others.
5) Being giving, as much as possible.

It seems like the lessons I have grasped from the movie are things which I have already known. However, the movie hit home so hard that it really got me thinking about what I am doing with my own life.

Although I do not want to be in an endless cycle of never-ending problems and being stuck at where I am, unconsciously, I am stuck! At least I feel stuck.

I probably have to learn to 'un-stuck' myself.

Powered by ScribeFire.

Learning to be human in a socially-degenerative society

"We (the first-world people) learn to be more friendly, yet we became less human.
They (the third-world people) have to learn to be more polite, yet their simplicity (raw-ness) makes them more... in-touch."

"We ought to view things/stuff with a pinch of salt!"

"We got to be more critical in the way we look at things, so as to not to be deceived or taken advantage of."

"Never look at the surface value of things, be as shrewd as a viper, but as innocent as a dove."

Question in all of these.... "Where do we strike a balance in being 'street-smart' vs. being compassionate?" Or are they suppose to be separate issues altogether?

==== side thoughts ====
Some opportunities are given to us, while some are created. Whilst opportunities may not be used/taken, do we still feel or search for these 'thoughts' or 'feelings'.
===================

I was in the MRT on my way back home from the Airport this afternoon. (Singapore Taxi's are getting more expensive these days, especially those leaving from the airport...) And a chance came upon me to grab a seat after having to stand for many stops/stations.

While I was sitting down, with my luggage, bag, and box around me, I saw an elderly man. Struggling to keep his back straight, carrying some groceries, 10 feet away from me. And I wonder... Should I give up my seat, creating more trouble with the people around me as the train was packed, or should I just sit down and wait for people to give up their seat for the old man. Either way, I guess the least I could do is to pray for the old man and having my prayers answered instantaneously, the old man exitted the train door and my conscience was relieved.

In the back of my head, I realized one thing... It's one thing to not give when there is no way one could give, it's another thing to not even bother/see/consider the fact that one ought to give in a situation where giving is called for. (Is this a state of apathy?)

Considering there were others around me, young, not so old, and old... who saw what I have seen... Surely some thoughts would have crossed their minds....

-Flashback-
While walking down the street of Guang Zhou 2 days ago, Dad, Brother and I came across several beggars. 2 of which, my Dad commented...
"That man wanted 10-RMB to buy a bus ticket home", "That girl wanted 1-RMB to make a phone call home." My Dad wanted my brother to give them something, however, my brother refused to give. I was bewildered. On one hand, do these people deserve our compassion because they genuinely need it, or am I simply being foolish in feeling compassionate for them.
-End of Flashback-

Question that always bugs me, bugged me again... Am I being too hard-hearted? Surely not, considering I still felt something for these people. Back in Singapore, people can be so 'courteous' and 'nice' on the outside. Smile whenever we meet strangers, say 'thank-you', 'welcome', and 'excuse-me' at all the right places/time... Yet our heart can no longer feel for people or spare a thought for others for the fear of guilt and inability to get out of comfort...or is it simply entitlement...

Of course in saying this, I am not generalizing that there are no kind-souls in the city. However, does being first-world puts us back to where we were before in relation to understanding what it means to suffer together and learning to care for one another like what happened in our parents and grand-parents generation... I guess that's why we need the poor and needy as much as they need us...
"To help us remind ourselves that at the end of the day, we're all human beings."

==== another random side thoughts ====
If I were to re-do the New York City Subs, I will instill a change for people to NOT EAT NOR DRINK NOR CHEW GUMS. I will make better facilities, even booking system for basking and performers, and encourage new faces and talents to spring up from the undeground...

I believe China is yet to be ready for such a change, even though the facilities are more than available. The generation is yet to be ready to accept such a change.

But the New Yorker... or a fellow Singaporean, is far more than being ready, it's as though our society needs it.
================================

Reflections:
While I was day-dreaming in China, I fell upon this thought of achieving the great! Yet when it dawned upon me the reality and circumstance I am in, I realized that it's not up to me to decide who goes from good to great... (I guess I need to be reminded with the learning to be surrendered.)

Hey, talking about being human... Part of a character of a human being that we all ought to embrace... realizing that we can only do 'this-much' and the rest is up to God!