"While I was 18, I was playing street-soccer after orientation. Though I don't kick well, I was pretty fast and had the endurance to last through a long game. However, I had a problem, I don't recover fast enough to keep up with my opponents. Soon, my opponents took that opportunity to play rough, and needless to say, I was on the losing side of the battle. My team was generally weaker than our opponent, and having me around really doesn't help..."
I learned the art of recovery recently while feeling down and discouraged about life. I am not a master of it, nor someone who is able to teach others, how to recover. However, I do want to share a story on how I started on my journey of recovery, one step at a time, with God holding onto my hand...
Having been a disciple of about 9 years, I realized that I have never been burnt-out. I mean discouraged about some things in life, yes, but never really emptied. It was only recently that I felt so alone and in need of encouragement, support and love from my church that I finally understood what it meant to have real, deep and a fellowship I can never buy with any amount of money in this world.
I just ended a 3-day birthday celebration, or should I say, transformation. I started out feeling 'cranky', un-loved, tired, and taken-advantage of. I started hesitating in serving at my church conference, selfishly thinking "why should I be giving my special-day in the year...for 'work' at church!!!" Little did I realize the very birthday present God has given me was THE CONFERENCE.
Focusing on Jacob's life, and how he was bruised, and acknowledged he was Jacob (the deceiver), the Angel of the Lord gave him a new name... "Your name shall now be called Israel!" - Gen 32:28
I learnt today that whatever discouragement/tiredness and any weaknesses I faced this season, was all due to the fact that God is preparing me for something greater in the coming year. One which requires me to be bruised, acknowledge that I need help, I need to be humble and I need friends. Especially my brothers and sisters in church.
In my road to recovery, I had to realize that I was no longer in control, and I am tired. I tried to do things my own way to build my faith up, but I was wrong. I wished I knew better to rely on God alone, than to try. I believe God doesn't want me to go through that pain, but He knows I need it for me to acknowledge that I REALLY needed Him.
I also know that gratitude was the key, but I didn't know where to start, or how to feel grateful.
God unlocked my understanding on how Satan tried to take my faith piece-by-piece. Starting with guilt-trips all the way back to 2002/2003.
I know I needed reconciliation with my best friend, and I realized my friendship with him has got to turn for the better. Starting from today!
I learnt that the road to recovery will not simply take these 3 days, but probably longer. Nevertheless, I realized and learnt one statement which I will try to remember for the rest of my life...
"I am not prepared, but I am ready for the journey.."
======== to be continued to part 2 ===========
I learned the art of recovery recently while feeling down and discouraged about life. I am not a master of it, nor someone who is able to teach others, how to recover. However, I do want to share a story on how I started on my journey of recovery, one step at a time, with God holding onto my hand...
Having been a disciple of about 9 years, I realized that I have never been burnt-out. I mean discouraged about some things in life, yes, but never really emptied. It was only recently that I felt so alone and in need of encouragement, support and love from my church that I finally understood what it meant to have real, deep and a fellowship I can never buy with any amount of money in this world.
I just ended a 3-day birthday celebration, or should I say, transformation. I started out feeling 'cranky', un-loved, tired, and taken-advantage of. I started hesitating in serving at my church conference, selfishly thinking "why should I be giving my special-day in the year...for 'work' at church!!!" Little did I realize the very birthday present God has given me was THE CONFERENCE.
Focusing on Jacob's life, and how he was bruised, and acknowledged he was Jacob (the deceiver), the Angel of the Lord gave him a new name... "Your name shall now be called Israel!" - Gen 32:28
I learnt today that whatever discouragement/tiredness and any weaknesses I faced this season, was all due to the fact that God is preparing me for something greater in the coming year. One which requires me to be bruised, acknowledge that I need help, I need to be humble and I need friends. Especially my brothers and sisters in church.
In my road to recovery, I had to realize that I was no longer in control, and I am tired. I tried to do things my own way to build my faith up, but I was wrong. I wished I knew better to rely on God alone, than to try. I believe God doesn't want me to go through that pain, but He knows I need it for me to acknowledge that I REALLY needed Him.
I also know that gratitude was the key, but I didn't know where to start, or how to feel grateful.
God unlocked my understanding on how Satan tried to take my faith piece-by-piece. Starting with guilt-trips all the way back to 2002/2003.
I know I needed reconciliation with my best friend, and I realized my friendship with him has got to turn for the better. Starting from today!
I learnt that the road to recovery will not simply take these 3 days, but probably longer. Nevertheless, I realized and learnt one statement which I will try to remember for the rest of my life...
"I am not prepared, but I am ready for the journey.."
======== to be continued to part 2 ===========
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